EXCUSE ME!!!

Men have a long list of complaints about women. They look down upon women due to certain preconceived notions they have. They generalise all women to be the same and are shocked to see any one who is a little different.Here I'm gonna list down the EXCUSES we girls have for being the way we are.I emphasise the word excuses because thats what they are... not reasons but excuses...What we are is what we make of ourselves.No one can change us if we are strong enough to face influences boldly... strong enough to stand up for what we believe in... strong enough to break out of the chains which the society imposes on us...
One more thing I wish to say before I start... girls too have many fixed notions about men. But the reason why I am not mentioning excuses for men is not because I'm a 'man hater' or a 'female chauvanist' [my first blog post awarded me those titles] but because the generalised ideas about men are basically quite good. Notions like all men are brave,clever,strong,secure,free,not silly etc do not need excuses because I'm sure any man would love to be described like this.So let me go on to "The excuses for why women are they way they are".



1.GENERAL NOTION: Women are silly.They play with barbie dolls and teddy bears. They have no interest in cars or bikes and hardly know anything about them...

EXCUSE:When a girl child is born relatives and friends cover her with stuffed toys,toy kitchen sets and barbie dolls.She grows up with these and assumes that it is all the world has there to offer her.Her extremely possessive brother does not allow her to touch his 'manly toys'. If the guy plays with dolls he is accused of being 'girlie'.

2.GENERAL NOTION:Girls dress up so much. They spent hours on make up,jewellery and shopping.With every dress they need matching ornaments and accessories.

EXCUSE:
"When a guy stands up to speak
The audience listen.
If they like what they hear.. they look at him.

When a girl stands up to speak
The audience look at her.
If they like what they see.. they listen."
-Anonymous (actually I forgot where I read this quote).

Women are judged 'more' by their appearance than guys. In any gathering we can see that people crowd around the most gorgeous girl in the room. (of course when they later realise that she is just looks and nothing more they disperse).But the fact remains that people are attracted by feminine beauty(even if it's artificial) more than a strong character whereas among guys a good attitude is enough to attract people.A girl who is not so well groomed but with a pleasing personality will surely get along well but it needs time. We also have this very conservative attitude that women and jewellery are inseparable. I hate almost all sorts of jewellery and hence I very rarely wear them. Once I wore a chain and all my friends remarked:"Wow Jeeta!! you became a girl".Wasn't I a girl before that? Do I have to wear a chain to prove my feminity? But when the society pesters you with these unwritten rules of how a women should be girls unknowingly tend to accept them...


3.GENERAL NOTION:Girls are extremely sensitive.They cry over the silliest things(best example:me).They cove their eyes when they see wrestling or boxing(again best example is me. I hate violence). They hate movies where the hero is punched and kicked and thrown around and almost dies only to finally arise and punch and kick and throw away the villans(A typical movie).

EXCUSE: As a child, when a girl cries she is fussed and kissed. She is asked the reason for her tears and a solution is given immediately.WHen a boy child cries he is teased and called a "mommy's boy"(Mothers usually fuss and kiss boy children too).Crying has been termed a 'girls only' thing for ages. So girls don't feel ashamed of crying but guys do.
When a girl hits her friend she is asked not to do so because it's not 'ladylike' to punch or kick. when a guy hits his friend he may be scolded but the concluding statement would be "guys will be guys..". Yes,guys are expected to fight physically..punch and get punched.. while girls are expected to just watch on.. occasionally wimpering and wiping away tears..and keeping away at a safe distance...


4.GENERAL NOTION: Girls are weak. They cannot fight or defend themselves. They cannot save themselves from their 'enemies'.

EXCUSE:
"Cowards die a thousand deaths
The brave never tastes of death but once"
(My apologies to Shakespeare if the quotation is not exactly correct)

Anyway the reason why women are weak is due to fear. As soon as a girl reaches her adolescence she is bombarded with stories of raping,woman abuse,eve teasing,flesh trade etc. She grows up i a state of extreme fear.In every gesture and every move she fears attack. As soon as darkness surrounds a woman who is alone, thoughts of all the gruesome rape cases pass he mind.this fear numbs he actions. When face with danger she cannot give her whole strength to save herself.
Due to many physical factors women cannot be as strong as men. There are times when we have to rest and cannot over exert ourselves.But the real reason why we are weak is not physical. It is dues to fear... and unnecessary fear which the world impose on us at an young age.


5.GENERAL NOTION: Women cannot make decisions. In a crisis they fail miserably. They loose their head and go around confused.

EXCUSE: As I mentioned before when a girl cries people comfort her and offer solutions while guys try to comfort themselves because crying would make them less 'manly'. This is one excuse. As a child,parents take decisions for us irrespective of whether we are a girl or a boy. But once we cross 18yrs guys are 'generally' given more freedom to choose higher studies and careers of their choice while there is a constrain for girls. According to th society (I am really against this society as you might have guessed by now) a woman should be married by the age of 23 or at least 25.So all higher studies and career pursuits are so decided by the parents such that it is all over and done with by the time the girl attains 'marriagable age'. A guy whom the family thinks is suitable is chosen and the girl is 'happily married'. A girl is brought up very carefully and given limited options for deciding on her own so that when she reached 'marriagable age' she will not rebel to the 'suitable mathc' her family finds for her. A girl is expected to dedicate her life for a man. So why does she need to make decisions?? The man would do it for her...



The difference between a man and a woman is merely physical. Everything else is just a false conception that we have. There is nothing we can generalise about a man or a woman. There are girls who are not 'girlie' and guys who cry.I urge the society not to impose such 'guys should be manly' and girls should me feminine' rules on the younger generation. The youth today has a spark of daring...a will to accept changes and a mind to think beyond the ordinary... I wish the society would not kill off this spirit within us and allow us to be the way we wish to be and not the way they want us to be. Be proud of who you are and never limit your dreams just because you were born as a man or a woman.. it honestly makes no difference. so remember men can cry and women can fight. It only needs courage to change the centuries old perceptions...


PS: Special mention to my brother who freaked out at me for generalising the idea "all men are MCPs". I realised nothing can be generalised. Even if all men I meet are so there are many more who are different.It takes will power to reject our fixed ideas and accept that each individual is unique and rare.