Get raped..don't care..hear about rape..get outraged!

THIS IS NOT A BLOG THAT TELLS YOU TO SPEAK UP AGAINST DELHI GANG RAPE CASE. IT IS ABOUT SPEAKING UP IN EVERYDAY LIFE.

A long time ago I made an fb page. It was made for a marketing competition and it needed maximum likes to win. I fixed the theme of the page as women empowerment (my passionate topic). I designed posters against rape, dowry and female infanticide. Then began the publicity process or rather the process of begging everyone to like the page. My competitors were pages promoting childhood memories, music, crazy jokes etc. We hardly got around 240 likes while the other pages had 1000+. The sad part was not losing the competition but the responses I got from the guys I asked to like the page. They felt it was against their dignity to like such a page. They classified it as a feministic initiative and supporting such a page seemed demeaning to their pride. Some comments I got : “ am seriously against the ideas postd there” “ithu njan like cheythal idi urappa enikku." and some curt “no thank you” responses. Those who liked the page I asked them to pass it on to their friends. But they wouldn’t do that because they would get teased by other guys!! Even a poster showing the rape statistics in India got me a response “such things haven’t happened here. Girls simply overreact to everything. Men aren’t so bad”.  

And now after the delhi gang rape incident these guys are flooding fb with outrage messages. Changing their profile pic, taking New Year resolutions to respect women and blah blah blah… Why? Are they genuinely outraged or is it because it’s the ‘in’ thing to do?

A few days back a bunch of guys threatened the gals in my class for booing at them during a basketball match and successfully scared the girls. The girls ran away and some even cried. But again the blame was on the girls. Why were the gals there at 6pm and why did they irritate the guys? They deserved what they got! Even the gals supported the whole thing saying ‘men will be men… they will say such things and do such things. We should just not bother about this and we should just keep away’. Now these same people have black dots as their profile pic and write huge status about ‘society should change their attitude. Don’t put the blame on the girls. Girls stand up for your rights.’

What’s the point? If you guys can’t change your own attitude about woman how can you expect someone in Delhi to change it? If you girls can’t stand up against guys who threaten you how can you stand up against guys who threatened some girl in Delhi?

It is good to see the entire nation being united by such an incident. It is good to see so many people protesting against this incident. It is good to see everyone swearing about the government and planning candle marches. But all this is useless if you cannot stand up against what happens to you in your daily life. Feel the outrage when a guy puts you down. Feel the outrage when you see a girl being harassed. Feel it in the everyday things because it is these small things that build up and form the general fucking attitude of the society.

This incident will fade away soon. Attitudes will remain the same. Girls who speak of woman abuse will be termed as feminists and guys who support it will be classified as ‘men with no backbone’. Life will go on as usual.  Those who think I’m being pessimistic just wait and watch. This is not the first rape incident and it is definitely not going to be the last. Let's just hope and pray these rapists get a just punishment.     

Waking up to reality!

I just realised that I had been living in a beautiful dream all  my life. A dream filled with love, care, freedom, individuality, safety, confidence..... A dream so wonderful that I assumed it to be the truth... Inspite of hearing about restrictions, insecurity, violence, trickery and suppression I never saw them as a threat. Angelina Jolie was my idol and Helen Keller was my inspiration. 'A girl can do anything' was my motto. I would mock people who ever tried to put my ideas down. I believed that as long as a woman had the strength to live there is nothing that can put us down. But then the doors of reality opened.... And what I saw beyond those doors was the HARSH truth.
When women speak of suppression and restrictions I used to wonder why they don't just walk away from everything. Why don't they stand up for what is right and do what they really want to do with their life. All my previous posts speak in this line. But I have found the reason now. In the eyes of the society the woman is always wrong. Whatever happens to a woman the general notion in the society is 'she must have done something wrong'. A guy can walk away with anything as long as this idea prevails. And a girl can never be safe as long as this idea prevails.....
A woman always needs a guy to look after them.  This is an age old concept that still holds true. The society promotes this. The only people who will support a woman who is genuinely in trouble will be her husband*.... brother... son.. or friend...(*subject to many conditions).. The rest of the world will see her as an idiot who deserves what she got. A woman can never be totally independent as long as this situation continues..
I heard the story of '22fk' and felt the climax was awesome. When I told one of my friends he said 'But its just a story...impractical..." and I AGREED!!! I myself was shocked that I'm actually agreeing that women are not strong enough. But I guess when you see the whole society turning against you, you tend to just give up fighting for something you always believed in. Stuff like 'Be strong', 'Believe in yourself', 'Never give up your ideas' etc seem stupid when the society is so large and stubborn. Indeed it is more 'practical' to just agree that we are the 'weak' section of the society who will always need protection... the section that is always wrong in the eyes of the society.... the section to which anything and everything can happen at any time anywhere while the whole world will just stand by and watch....
People say 'one day' the society will change... the attitude towards women will change.... women will have equal rights... women will be safe.... 'one day' women can hold their head up high and walk anywhere with absolutely no fear in their hearts.... And we have organisations and idealistic individuals who promote strong messages to achieve this 'one day' soon. I was one of them. But in this fight to reach the 'one day' I realised maybe it is never gonna come....