A SILLY POEM BY A SILLY GAL
If I were a butterfly
You would gaze at me flying high
If I were a honey bee
You would listen to me buzzing with glee
If I were a pussy cat
You would rub and give me a pat
If I were a bright red rose
You would sniff your delicate nose
If I were a pretty rainbow
Once you see me you’ll never go
If I were a precious jewel
To make me yours you would duel
If I were a rock king
You would love to hear me sing
If I were a sports star
To see my game you would travel far
If I were Aiswarya Rai
Just to see me you would even die
If I were your dream girl
You would kiss and give me a pearl
But since I’m just your best friend
In your list of priorities I would be at the end
But I would give you my all and more
Coz friendship is the only thing I live for
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
I LOVE BIKES
Let me make it clear from the start that my knowledge about bikes is null. All I know is that I love bikes and go crazy over them. Yes, it’s possible to be passionate about bikes inspite of being totally ignorant about their technical aspects. My dad has a bike. It’s a Rajdoot. I wonder if anyone has even heard about such a model. It can be better described as a piece of antique. It has been with us ever since I can remember infact it was with my dad even before I was born. We have nicknamed it “Dhug Dhuk” because it makes a kinda funny sound.
Before we bought a four wheeler the bike was our only means of transport. The four of us have jam packed ourselves onto it and driven off to so many places. It is still a wonder to me how we all managed to squeeze into it and rode off from Trivandrum to Iddukki and back again without any major calamities. I , being the youngest , had to sit on the petrol tank. This was really cool for me because I could pretend that I was riding the bike and having races with imaginary foes.
As I grew up (I had to sit at the back since I become tall) I started feeling uncomfortable with my bike. I have had innumerable extremely embarrassing moments on my bike. It just breaks down in the middle of the road and refuses to start inspite of furious kicks by my dad while I try my best to look as if the bike doesn’t belong to me(this is difficult since I’m sitting on it).When the horning and rude remarks by those drivers unfortunate enough to be caught behind us become unbearable the bike would be pushed to the nearest garage by my dad and I would be left to walk back home.
Freaky guys on gleaming, super fast bikes jeered at my poor old rajdoot. Though I still loved my “Dhug Dhuk” I started wishing for something new. Then we bought an activa which is a scooter as you all know. It was new, fast, smooth and most importantly not embarrassing. I told my friends about my “new” scooter and proudly went on it with my dad. But I felt something missing. Activa was too smooth and devoid of anything exciting. It lacked that power I used to feel on my old bike. So it was sold and we went back to our Rajdoot again.
My dad is an extremely careful driver and so I never had a chance to experience the feel of racing through the traffic which is something all bike riders talk about (besides rajdoot couldn’t go that fast). I always wanted to try out this so called “craze for race” and once I got a chance. My family friend took me on his bike. He was driving so fast that I could make out only blurs of what was around me. The wind was blowing in all possible directions that it totally confused me. In movies the wind blows in only a single direction and the heroine’s hair blows back romantically. My hair on the other hand was a total mess by the time we reached our destination. I was shivering since the above mentioned wind was also extremely cold and apart from that there had been many sudden brakes and jolting starts (as we all know Indian roads are definitely not meant for racing). This incident killed my racing spirit.
So if I don’t like racing why the hell do I say I love bikes because according to everyone bikes = speed. What I like best about bikes is the energy we feel while riding them….the strong , secure feeling you get when the machine vibrates beneath you.. the way this majestic device slides along a side road….the ability of this magnificent two wheeler to squeeze through the tiniest gaps in a traffic block and yet it does not appear to be insignificant…
Bikes (driven at a normal speed) make me happy. Going on my dad’s bikes especially at night is something truly wonderful. While going along a lonely pitch dark road (power cut going on) with the headlight giving just minimum light I feel as if I’m sliding through air. It gives me a feeling of flying at ground level. It’s a feeling only a bike can give you.
Now my biggest desire is to ride a bike. People laugh when I say this because it seems you need strength and muscles to ride a bike and I have neither. But maybe one day I’ll grow fat and strong and can ride a truly cool bike. But till then my “dhug dhuk” will continue to give me powerful moments to cherish forever.
PS: It was midnight when I wrote this blog and I had my maths board exam the next day. I think that is evidence enough for my passion for bikes.
Before we bought a four wheeler the bike was our only means of transport. The four of us have jam packed ourselves onto it and driven off to so many places. It is still a wonder to me how we all managed to squeeze into it and rode off from Trivandrum to Iddukki and back again without any major calamities. I , being the youngest , had to sit on the petrol tank. This was really cool for me because I could pretend that I was riding the bike and having races with imaginary foes.
As I grew up (I had to sit at the back since I become tall) I started feeling uncomfortable with my bike. I have had innumerable extremely embarrassing moments on my bike. It just breaks down in the middle of the road and refuses to start inspite of furious kicks by my dad while I try my best to look as if the bike doesn’t belong to me(this is difficult since I’m sitting on it).When the horning and rude remarks by those drivers unfortunate enough to be caught behind us become unbearable the bike would be pushed to the nearest garage by my dad and I would be left to walk back home.
Freaky guys on gleaming, super fast bikes jeered at my poor old rajdoot. Though I still loved my “Dhug Dhuk” I started wishing for something new. Then we bought an activa which is a scooter as you all know. It was new, fast, smooth and most importantly not embarrassing. I told my friends about my “new” scooter and proudly went on it with my dad. But I felt something missing. Activa was too smooth and devoid of anything exciting. It lacked that power I used to feel on my old bike. So it was sold and we went back to our Rajdoot again.
My dad is an extremely careful driver and so I never had a chance to experience the feel of racing through the traffic which is something all bike riders talk about (besides rajdoot couldn’t go that fast). I always wanted to try out this so called “craze for race” and once I got a chance. My family friend took me on his bike. He was driving so fast that I could make out only blurs of what was around me. The wind was blowing in all possible directions that it totally confused me. In movies the wind blows in only a single direction and the heroine’s hair blows back romantically. My hair on the other hand was a total mess by the time we reached our destination. I was shivering since the above mentioned wind was also extremely cold and apart from that there had been many sudden brakes and jolting starts (as we all know Indian roads are definitely not meant for racing). This incident killed my racing spirit.
So if I don’t like racing why the hell do I say I love bikes because according to everyone bikes = speed. What I like best about bikes is the energy we feel while riding them….the strong , secure feeling you get when the machine vibrates beneath you.. the way this majestic device slides along a side road….the ability of this magnificent two wheeler to squeeze through the tiniest gaps in a traffic block and yet it does not appear to be insignificant…
Bikes (driven at a normal speed) make me happy. Going on my dad’s bikes especially at night is something truly wonderful. While going along a lonely pitch dark road (power cut going on) with the headlight giving just minimum light I feel as if I’m sliding through air. It gives me a feeling of flying at ground level. It’s a feeling only a bike can give you.
Now my biggest desire is to ride a bike. People laugh when I say this because it seems you need strength and muscles to ride a bike and I have neither. But maybe one day I’ll grow fat and strong and can ride a truly cool bike. But till then my “dhug dhuk” will continue to give me powerful moments to cherish forever.
PS: It was midnight when I wrote this blog and I had my maths board exam the next day. I think that is evidence enough for my passion for bikes.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
EXCUSE ME!!!
Men have a long list of complaints about women. They look down upon women due to certain preconceived notions they have. They generalise all women to be the same and are shocked to see any one who is a little different.Here I'm gonna list down the EXCUSES we girls have for being the way we are.I emphasise the word excuses because thats what they are... not reasons but excuses...What we are is what we make of ourselves.No one can change us if we are strong enough to face influences boldly... strong enough to stand up for what we believe in... strong enough to break out of the chains which the society imposes on us...
One more thing I wish to say before I start... girls too have many fixed notions about men. But the reason why I am not mentioning excuses for men is not because I'm a 'man hater' or a 'female chauvanist' [my first blog post awarded me those titles] but because the generalised ideas about men are basically quite good. Notions like all men are brave,clever,strong,secure,free,not silly etc do not need excuses because I'm sure any man would love to be described like this.So let me go on to "The excuses for why women are they way they are".
1.GENERAL NOTION: Women are silly.They play with barbie dolls and teddy bears. They have no interest in cars or bikes and hardly know anything about them...
EXCUSE:When a girl child is born relatives and friends cover her with stuffed toys,toy kitchen sets and barbie dolls.She grows up with these and assumes that it is all the world has there to offer her.Her extremely possessive brother does not allow her to touch his 'manly toys'. If the guy plays with dolls he is accused of being 'girlie'.
2.GENERAL NOTION:Girls dress up so much. They spent hours on make up,jewellery and shopping.With every dress they need matching ornaments and accessories.
EXCUSE:
"When a guy stands up to speak
The audience listen.
If they like what they hear.. they look at him.
When a girl stands up to speak
The audience look at her.
If they like what they see.. they listen."
-Anonymous (actually I forgot where I read this quote).
Women are judged 'more' by their appearance than guys. In any gathering we can see that people crowd around the most gorgeous girl in the room. (of course when they later realise that she is just looks and nothing more they disperse).But the fact remains that people are attracted by feminine beauty(even if it's artificial) more than a strong character whereas among guys a good attitude is enough to attract people.A girl who is not so well groomed but with a pleasing personality will surely get along well but it needs time. We also have this very conservative attitude that women and jewellery are inseparable. I hate almost all sorts of jewellery and hence I very rarely wear them. Once I wore a chain and all my friends remarked:"Wow Jeeta!! you became a girl".Wasn't I a girl before that? Do I have to wear a chain to prove my feminity? But when the society pesters you with these unwritten rules of how a women should be girls unknowingly tend to accept them...
3.GENERAL NOTION:Girls are extremely sensitive.They cry over the silliest things(best example:me).They cove their eyes when they see wrestling or boxing(again best example is me. I hate violence). They hate movies where the hero is punched and kicked and thrown around and almost dies only to finally arise and punch and kick and throw away the villans(A typical movie).
EXCUSE: As a child, when a girl cries she is fussed and kissed. She is asked the reason for her tears and a solution is given immediately.WHen a boy child cries he is teased and called a "mommy's boy"(Mothers usually fuss and kiss boy children too).Crying has been termed a 'girls only' thing for ages. So girls don't feel ashamed of crying but guys do.
When a girl hits her friend she is asked not to do so because it's not 'ladylike' to punch or kick. when a guy hits his friend he may be scolded but the concluding statement would be "guys will be guys..". Yes,guys are expected to fight physically..punch and get punched.. while girls are expected to just watch on.. occasionally wimpering and wiping away tears..and keeping away at a safe distance...
4.GENERAL NOTION: Girls are weak. They cannot fight or defend themselves. They cannot save themselves from their 'enemies'.
EXCUSE:
"Cowards die a thousand deaths
The brave never tastes of death but once"
(My apologies to Shakespeare if the quotation is not exactly correct)
Anyway the reason why women are weak is due to fear. As soon as a girl reaches her adolescence she is bombarded with stories of raping,woman abuse,eve teasing,flesh trade etc. She grows up i a state of extreme fear.In every gesture and every move she fears attack. As soon as darkness surrounds a woman who is alone, thoughts of all the gruesome rape cases pass he mind.this fear numbs he actions. When face with danger she cannot give her whole strength to save herself.
Due to many physical factors women cannot be as strong as men. There are times when we have to rest and cannot over exert ourselves.But the real reason why we are weak is not physical. It is dues to fear... and unnecessary fear which the world impose on us at an young age.
5.GENERAL NOTION: Women cannot make decisions. In a crisis they fail miserably. They loose their head and go around confused.
EXCUSE: As I mentioned before when a girl cries people comfort her and offer solutions while guys try to comfort themselves because crying would make them less 'manly'. This is one excuse. As a child,parents take decisions for us irrespective of whether we are a girl or a boy. But once we cross 18yrs guys are 'generally' given more freedom to choose higher studies and careers of their choice while there is a constrain for girls. According to th society (I am really against this society as you might have guessed by now) a woman should be married by the age of 23 or at least 25.So all higher studies and career pursuits are so decided by the parents such that it is all over and done with by the time the girl attains 'marriagable age'. A guy whom the family thinks is suitable is chosen and the girl is 'happily married'. A girl is brought up very carefully and given limited options for deciding on her own so that when she reached 'marriagable age' she will not rebel to the 'suitable mathc' her family finds for her. A girl is expected to dedicate her life for a man. So why does she need to make decisions?? The man would do it for her...
The difference between a man and a woman is merely physical. Everything else is just a false conception that we have. There is nothing we can generalise about a man or a woman. There are girls who are not 'girlie' and guys who cry.I urge the society not to impose such 'guys should be manly' and girls should me feminine' rules on the younger generation. The youth today has a spark of daring...a will to accept changes and a mind to think beyond the ordinary... I wish the society would not kill off this spirit within us and allow us to be the way we wish to be and not the way they want us to be. Be proud of who you are and never limit your dreams just because you were born as a man or a woman.. it honestly makes no difference. so remember men can cry and women can fight. It only needs courage to change the centuries old perceptions...
PS: Special mention to my brother who freaked out at me for generalising the idea "all men are MCPs". I realised nothing can be generalised. Even if all men I meet are so there are many more who are different.It takes will power to reject our fixed ideas and accept that each individual is unique and rare.
One more thing I wish to say before I start... girls too have many fixed notions about men. But the reason why I am not mentioning excuses for men is not because I'm a 'man hater' or a 'female chauvanist' [my first blog post awarded me those titles] but because the generalised ideas about men are basically quite good. Notions like all men are brave,clever,strong,secure,free,not silly etc do not need excuses because I'm sure any man would love to be described like this.So let me go on to "The excuses for why women are they way they are".
1.GENERAL NOTION: Women are silly.They play with barbie dolls and teddy bears. They have no interest in cars or bikes and hardly know anything about them...
EXCUSE:When a girl child is born relatives and friends cover her with stuffed toys,toy kitchen sets and barbie dolls.She grows up with these and assumes that it is all the world has there to offer her.Her extremely possessive brother does not allow her to touch his 'manly toys'. If the guy plays with dolls he is accused of being 'girlie'.
2.GENERAL NOTION:Girls dress up so much. They spent hours on make up,jewellery and shopping.With every dress they need matching ornaments and accessories.
EXCUSE:
"When a guy stands up to speak
The audience listen.
If they like what they hear.. they look at him.
When a girl stands up to speak
The audience look at her.
If they like what they see.. they listen."
-Anonymous (actually I forgot where I read this quote).
Women are judged 'more' by their appearance than guys. In any gathering we can see that people crowd around the most gorgeous girl in the room. (of course when they later realise that she is just looks and nothing more they disperse).But the fact remains that people are attracted by feminine beauty(even if it's artificial) more than a strong character whereas among guys a good attitude is enough to attract people.A girl who is not so well groomed but with a pleasing personality will surely get along well but it needs time. We also have this very conservative attitude that women and jewellery are inseparable. I hate almost all sorts of jewellery and hence I very rarely wear them. Once I wore a chain and all my friends remarked:"Wow Jeeta!! you became a girl".Wasn't I a girl before that? Do I have to wear a chain to prove my feminity? But when the society pesters you with these unwritten rules of how a women should be girls unknowingly tend to accept them...
3.GENERAL NOTION:Girls are extremely sensitive.They cry over the silliest things(best example:me).They cove their eyes when they see wrestling or boxing(again best example is me. I hate violence). They hate movies where the hero is punched and kicked and thrown around and almost dies only to finally arise and punch and kick and throw away the villans(A typical movie).
EXCUSE: As a child, when a girl cries she is fussed and kissed. She is asked the reason for her tears and a solution is given immediately.WHen a boy child cries he is teased and called a "mommy's boy"(Mothers usually fuss and kiss boy children too).Crying has been termed a 'girls only' thing for ages. So girls don't feel ashamed of crying but guys do.
When a girl hits her friend she is asked not to do so because it's not 'ladylike' to punch or kick. when a guy hits his friend he may be scolded but the concluding statement would be "guys will be guys..". Yes,guys are expected to fight physically..punch and get punched.. while girls are expected to just watch on.. occasionally wimpering and wiping away tears..and keeping away at a safe distance...
4.GENERAL NOTION: Girls are weak. They cannot fight or defend themselves. They cannot save themselves from their 'enemies'.
EXCUSE:
"Cowards die a thousand deaths
The brave never tastes of death but once"
(My apologies to Shakespeare if the quotation is not exactly correct)
Anyway the reason why women are weak is due to fear. As soon as a girl reaches her adolescence she is bombarded with stories of raping,woman abuse,eve teasing,flesh trade etc. She grows up i a state of extreme fear.In every gesture and every move she fears attack. As soon as darkness surrounds a woman who is alone, thoughts of all the gruesome rape cases pass he mind.this fear numbs he actions. When face with danger she cannot give her whole strength to save herself.
Due to many physical factors women cannot be as strong as men. There are times when we have to rest and cannot over exert ourselves.But the real reason why we are weak is not physical. It is dues to fear... and unnecessary fear which the world impose on us at an young age.
5.GENERAL NOTION: Women cannot make decisions. In a crisis they fail miserably. They loose their head and go around confused.
EXCUSE: As I mentioned before when a girl cries people comfort her and offer solutions while guys try to comfort themselves because crying would make them less 'manly'. This is one excuse. As a child,parents take decisions for us irrespective of whether we are a girl or a boy. But once we cross 18yrs guys are 'generally' given more freedom to choose higher studies and careers of their choice while there is a constrain for girls. According to th society (I am really against this society as you might have guessed by now) a woman should be married by the age of 23 or at least 25.So all higher studies and career pursuits are so decided by the parents such that it is all over and done with by the time the girl attains 'marriagable age'. A guy whom the family thinks is suitable is chosen and the girl is 'happily married'. A girl is brought up very carefully and given limited options for deciding on her own so that when she reached 'marriagable age' she will not rebel to the 'suitable mathc' her family finds for her. A girl is expected to dedicate her life for a man. So why does she need to make decisions?? The man would do it for her...
The difference between a man and a woman is merely physical. Everything else is just a false conception that we have. There is nothing we can generalise about a man or a woman. There are girls who are not 'girlie' and guys who cry.I urge the society not to impose such 'guys should be manly' and girls should me feminine' rules on the younger generation. The youth today has a spark of daring...a will to accept changes and a mind to think beyond the ordinary... I wish the society would not kill off this spirit within us and allow us to be the way we wish to be and not the way they want us to be. Be proud of who you are and never limit your dreams just because you were born as a man or a woman.. it honestly makes no difference. so remember men can cry and women can fight. It only needs courage to change the centuries old perceptions...
PS: Special mention to my brother who freaked out at me for generalising the idea "all men are MCPs". I realised nothing can be generalised. Even if all men I meet are so there are many more who are different.It takes will power to reject our fixed ideas and accept that each individual is unique and rare.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Tu Hai Toh..... I'll Be Alright
Ask any of my friends to mention one thing I do very frequently and they'll reply "Get depressed". They call my depressed state "Jeeta's desp mood". I am basically an extremely sensitive person. My mother says that I used to be a very serious baby and never laughed much. All through my school days I used to cry very often over the silliest things. During my high school days I used to cry almost every week(kinda like a ritual nah??). I used to tell everyone the reason for my tears and after all the comforting from their behalf is over I used to feel pretty silly because the reason why I cried would be something highly stupid. But now i don't cry err.... I mean I don't cry so frequently as I used to. But instead I go into the so called "desp mood".People crowd around me and ask me what happened.But I don't tell them anymore.I just repeat "its nothing","leave it","I'm fine" etc if I'm just moderately depressed. If I am highly depressed I freak out at them with the usual dramatic dialogue "just leave me alone... I don't need anyone". So why have I shut myself in? Why don't I talk it over?I advice all my friends to speak out when they are sad and yet I myself cannot do it... why?? the answer is simple... the reason for my depression is something so silly that no one except me would consider it serious.
Take for example my last "desp mood".It occurred because I tried to repair my laptop (which crashed recently)all by myself and failed miserably. The laptop is kinda like my boyfriend(I named him blossom ... don't laugh...why cant a guy be named blossom???)so I don't want any one else to 'cure' him.. well.... we come back to the fact that the reason is stupid yet for me its serious. Then when I had not yet got over my "desp mood" my friend messaged me about some birthday party he had gone to and enjoyed a lot. I might have replied curtly because he sensed something wrong and asked the usual question:"kya hua re?? something wrong? you don't seem your usual self.". Gosh!! What should I say? Should I say that I'm sad because my laptop is not working?? He would laugh his head off if I said that. So I just send him a 'tell ya later' message. I was wondering what I could tell him later. I couldn't lie because I had very recently given him a lecture on "never lie to your friends'....and telling the truth would make me feel very silly.Then I got this brilliant idea of telling the whole world about my stupidity. If a fact is publicised it doesn't seem silly anymore.. A bollywood star had stomach ache once and the whole of India heard about it...but no one laughed. In fact they offered prayers for him. When I had stomach ache all my friends cracked a series of jokes...maybe if i had published the information on news they wouldn't have laughed so much. Anyway the fact is if I publish my stupidity as a blog it wouldn't be stupid anymore... it would be classified under creative thinking or literary piece of art or something like that nah??
So dear friends have you ever wondered what I'm thinking of when I'm in my "desp mood"?? ok... I know you haven't even thought about that question. But anyway I'll tell you... when the reality seems too harsh to cope with I go off into a world of fantasy. By fantasy I don't mean the kind of fantasy children see about houses made of chocolate or the kind of fantasy guys see about being surrounded by sexy gals who fall over them or the kind of fantasies gals see about their perfect prince charming. In my fantasy I see the world as it is.. I have the same friends and family around me(no extraordinarily hot guy in my fantasy unfortunately).
But the difference between reality and my fantasy is that in my fantasy people react the way I want them to. They talk to me in the tone I like. They look at me the way I like. They call me exactly when I want them to call. They come to me when I need them and they understand me completely. It is kinda like a parallel universe where everything is perfect.
There is a fine line between sanity and insanity. I jump across this line when I'm in my "desp mood". The world I find beyond this line is so beautiful and comforting that I feel like staying there forever. i think it is this world that we refer to as madness. If so wouldn't it be wonderful to be mad.. totally crazy??? Then I could exist in that beautiful world always and never come back to reality.
So what makes me come back? Why am I not totally crack yet?? The answer :because of my friends and family. Yes... I have such wonderful people around me that it makes my life beautiful even though its not perfect. I have friends and family who accept me even I'm weird..even when I freak out at them...even when I shut myself in.... I have people around me on whom I can always depend on..whom I can always trust and love.... and that's what makes reality beautiful...that's what keeps me sane.. love and friendship makes me wanna live forever..and keep me happy inspite of all my frequent "desp moods". So friends thanks for keeping me sane...
PS: My next "desp mood" will be when I see zero comments for this bog.. so for once all of you know the reason for my depression in advance..hehe.....
Take for example my last "desp mood".It occurred because I tried to repair my laptop (which crashed recently)all by myself and failed miserably. The laptop is kinda like my boyfriend(I named him blossom ... don't laugh...why cant a guy be named blossom???)so I don't want any one else to 'cure' him.. well.... we come back to the fact that the reason is stupid yet for me its serious. Then when I had not yet got over my "desp mood" my friend messaged me about some birthday party he had gone to and enjoyed a lot. I might have replied curtly because he sensed something wrong and asked the usual question:"kya hua re?? something wrong? you don't seem your usual self.". Gosh!! What should I say? Should I say that I'm sad because my laptop is not working?? He would laugh his head off if I said that. So I just send him a 'tell ya later' message. I was wondering what I could tell him later. I couldn't lie because I had very recently given him a lecture on "never lie to your friends'....and telling the truth would make me feel very silly.Then I got this brilliant idea of telling the whole world about my stupidity. If a fact is publicised it doesn't seem silly anymore.. A bollywood star had stomach ache once and the whole of India heard about it...but no one laughed. In fact they offered prayers for him. When I had stomach ache all my friends cracked a series of jokes...maybe if i had published the information on news they wouldn't have laughed so much. Anyway the fact is if I publish my stupidity as a blog it wouldn't be stupid anymore... it would be classified under creative thinking or literary piece of art or something like that nah??
So dear friends have you ever wondered what I'm thinking of when I'm in my "desp mood"?? ok... I know you haven't even thought about that question. But anyway I'll tell you... when the reality seems too harsh to cope with I go off into a world of fantasy. By fantasy I don't mean the kind of fantasy children see about houses made of chocolate or the kind of fantasy guys see about being surrounded by sexy gals who fall over them or the kind of fantasies gals see about their perfect prince charming. In my fantasy I see the world as it is.. I have the same friends and family around me(no extraordinarily hot guy in my fantasy unfortunately).
But the difference between reality and my fantasy is that in my fantasy people react the way I want them to. They talk to me in the tone I like. They look at me the way I like. They call me exactly when I want them to call. They come to me when I need them and they understand me completely. It is kinda like a parallel universe where everything is perfect.
There is a fine line between sanity and insanity. I jump across this line when I'm in my "desp mood". The world I find beyond this line is so beautiful and comforting that I feel like staying there forever. i think it is this world that we refer to as madness. If so wouldn't it be wonderful to be mad.. totally crazy??? Then I could exist in that beautiful world always and never come back to reality.
So what makes me come back? Why am I not totally crack yet?? The answer :because of my friends and family. Yes... I have such wonderful people around me that it makes my life beautiful even though its not perfect. I have friends and family who accept me even I'm weird..even when I freak out at them...even when I shut myself in.... I have people around me on whom I can always depend on..whom I can always trust and love.... and that's what makes reality beautiful...that's what keeps me sane.. love and friendship makes me wanna live forever..and keep me happy inspite of all my frequent "desp moods". So friends thanks for keeping me sane...
PS: My next "desp mood" will be when I see zero comments for this bog.. so for once all of you know the reason for my depression in advance..hehe.....
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
MY BLOG, MY SISTER, MY FRIENDS AND NOTHING MORE
My friends read my sister’s blog/profile and said , “Your sis is so cool yaar… loved her flow of language… so different….” . Jealously crept into my heart as I heard this. I do love my sister and in fact I myself consider her really cool. But these are MY friends…they are supposed to say “Jeeta, you are so cool yaar” and not about my sister. So now I have decided to try out my sister’s abstract writing style and prove that I’m just as good at it as her… so there shradhz and kav brace yourself for a completely different blogpost….
My sister’s blog is weird, crazy and abstract. I am already weird so that’s easy. I’m writing this at 2:00am , I have my board practicals tomorrow and I haven’t even started preparation for that.. So that makes this totally crazy… And to make this abstract I’m gonna choose my topic as mosquitoes… Are you confused??? Yippee!!! That is the first symptom which proves that my blog is gonna be like my sister’s…
So mosquitoes…. The reason why I chose this topic is because I am right now being bitten to death by these winged disasters (Shradha thinks: “Come on Jeeta your sister never gives reasons for her writings.. You spoiled the whole thing dumbo!!”)…. Isn’t murder a sin? If so I’m the biggest and fastest sinner . I have killed almost twenty to thirty mosquitoes in around one hour. And still they keep coming. I think they like getting killed. So why do we kill mosquitoes? Because they bite us?? But they can live only on blood… don’t they have a right to get proper nutrition like all living creatures?? Well.. I think instead of killing them off we should try and control their increase… Preventing birth is better than killing the born (Isn’t that a really cool statement kav… it was a sudden inspiration… see… told ya I’m as cool as my sis…. ). Mosquitoes spread dengue, malaria and various other diseases which threatens the existence of mankind…..
Gosh!!! This is the dumbest thing I have ever written so far… my second standard compositions are far more sensible than these… hmmm… I guess I can’t beat my sister in coolness…. But now my jealousy has worn off and has been replaced by total admiration… It is indeed an unique ability to write the way you do… totally natural… words just flow out of you sis… wonder how you can do this… I have often told you how confusing your blogs are to me… and I never comment on them… but that’s because I could never grasp the true meaning of them.. I could never think so freely or observe things so closely… wonder if I ever will be able to write like that… and wonder if my friends would ever find my writings cool….
But you know sis I have one thing which you will never get - a truly rocking sister like you… a sister of whom I can be proud of…. A sister my friends admire… U ROCK SIS!! And kav and shrahdz thanks for making me realise this…. I was starting to take my sister for granted…. And I know we’ll be friends always even if you don’t find me cool… because both of you are cool enough for the three of us… and besides friendship is not just about being cool nah?? …. love you always buddies and you too sis… I’m so lucky to have you all…
Feeling quite contented after writing this blogpost even though it is completely pointless… and I have been bitten by more than a hundred mosquitoes…and my practical preparation situation is still zero…. I believe thoughts and relationships are much more important than even my board exams…. This blogpost (which was initially a strive to prove my coolness ) is dedicated to my sister and two of my friends(names mentioned above) who will be the only ones who can understand the real meaning of this blog since it was them who inspired me to write this.. So to all those others who accidentally started to read this and being polite couldn’t stop and leave, a huge sorry… I will post something general next time… this one is exclusively for, as I mentioned before , my friends and sis to tell them how much I love them and to thank them for everything…. Love you all forever…
My sisters blog links :
http://www.mikimbizii.blogspot.com
http://enantiomorph-mikimbizii.blogspot.com/
Do check them out.. They are really awesome… and also visit her orkut profile :
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile.aspx?uid=15782669082328939731
My friends orkut profile:
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile.aspx?uid=12823983064134037096
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile.aspx?uid=6378240847895142269
Do add them… they are really cool friends to have(of course only if you are lucky enough to be accepted like me)
Okay… now let me sign off and start my preparations… or….let me just go and sleep these mosquitoes are killing me!!!!
My sister’s blog is weird, crazy and abstract. I am already weird so that’s easy. I’m writing this at 2:00am , I have my board practicals tomorrow and I haven’t even started preparation for that.. So that makes this totally crazy… And to make this abstract I’m gonna choose my topic as mosquitoes… Are you confused??? Yippee!!! That is the first symptom which proves that my blog is gonna be like my sister’s…
So mosquitoes…. The reason why I chose this topic is because I am right now being bitten to death by these winged disasters (Shradha thinks: “Come on Jeeta your sister never gives reasons for her writings.. You spoiled the whole thing dumbo!!”)…. Isn’t murder a sin? If so I’m the biggest and fastest sinner . I have killed almost twenty to thirty mosquitoes in around one hour. And still they keep coming. I think they like getting killed. So why do we kill mosquitoes? Because they bite us?? But they can live only on blood… don’t they have a right to get proper nutrition like all living creatures?? Well.. I think instead of killing them off we should try and control their increase… Preventing birth is better than killing the born (Isn’t that a really cool statement kav… it was a sudden inspiration… see… told ya I’m as cool as my sis…. ). Mosquitoes spread dengue, malaria and various other diseases which threatens the existence of mankind…..
Gosh!!! This is the dumbest thing I have ever written so far… my second standard compositions are far more sensible than these… hmmm… I guess I can’t beat my sister in coolness…. But now my jealousy has worn off and has been replaced by total admiration… It is indeed an unique ability to write the way you do… totally natural… words just flow out of you sis… wonder how you can do this… I have often told you how confusing your blogs are to me… and I never comment on them… but that’s because I could never grasp the true meaning of them.. I could never think so freely or observe things so closely… wonder if I ever will be able to write like that… and wonder if my friends would ever find my writings cool….
But you know sis I have one thing which you will never get - a truly rocking sister like you… a sister of whom I can be proud of…. A sister my friends admire… U ROCK SIS!! And kav and shrahdz thanks for making me realise this…. I was starting to take my sister for granted…. And I know we’ll be friends always even if you don’t find me cool… because both of you are cool enough for the three of us… and besides friendship is not just about being cool nah?? …. love you always buddies and you too sis… I’m so lucky to have you all…
Feeling quite contented after writing this blogpost even though it is completely pointless… and I have been bitten by more than a hundred mosquitoes…and my practical preparation situation is still zero…. I believe thoughts and relationships are much more important than even my board exams…. This blogpost (which was initially a strive to prove my coolness ) is dedicated to my sister and two of my friends(names mentioned above) who will be the only ones who can understand the real meaning of this blog since it was them who inspired me to write this.. So to all those others who accidentally started to read this and being polite couldn’t stop and leave, a huge sorry… I will post something general next time… this one is exclusively for, as I mentioned before , my friends and sis to tell them how much I love them and to thank them for everything…. Love you all forever…
My sisters blog links :
http://www.mikimbizii.blogspot.com
http://enantiomorph-mikimbizii.blogspot.com/
Do check them out.. They are really awesome… and also visit her orkut profile :
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile.aspx?uid=15782669082328939731
My friends orkut profile:
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile.aspx?uid=12823983064134037096
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile.aspx?uid=6378240847895142269
Do add them… they are really cool friends to have(of course only if you are lucky enough to be accepted like me)
Okay… now let me sign off and start my preparations… or….let me just go and sleep these mosquitoes are killing me!!!!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Dear Terrorist,
Hope this finds you in good health and high spirits especially since your recent attacks in Delhi have been so successfully terrorizing. I’m writing this letter to ‘praise’ you about your achievements. You have indeed managed to live up to your name and created terror in our hearts.
Thanks to you thousands of innocent people have lost their lives…hundreds have been maimed for life. Your well planned and sudden attacks have torn families apart and spread misery far and wide. People have lost their near and dear ones so unexpectedly that coming back to normal lives seems virtually impossible for them.
You have bombed churches, temples and mosques and thus brought about religious conflicts in a country that boasts of secularism. You have managed to make religious, political and regional unity seem even more far fetched. You have shattered dreams… killed desires… and numbed feelings.
You have achieved exactly what you wanted - a terrorized world. A world where we live in fear every moment… where we are cautious every second… we glance with mistrust at every passing stranger… look with alarm at suspicious packages… We open the newspapers everyday to be greeted with horrifying news about your crimes. You have become our main topic of discussion.
But there is one thing that you achieved which ,I’m sorry to say, you will not be pleased to hear. In your constant strive to create disunity and hatred you have unknowingly made us better humans. At a time and age when critics say that the new generation have lost all sentiments you have instilled a whole bunch of emotions into our hearts. A sympathy towards your victims who are complete strangers to us… an awareness about how easily you can loose your loved ones which has made us treasure relationships more tenderly… a realisation of how short our life is and how fast you can deprive us of it which has taught us to live each moment to the fullest… and finally a common hatred towards you which unites us inspite of whatever differences you have created. In your endeavour to split us apart you have unfortunately united India.
You will continue to terrorize and horrify us with your acts but it will only unite us further… make us more sensitive… sympathetic… and considerate…. You have shown us that life is not just all party and fun but it also has loses and pains. Thank you for making us more mature.
Yours faithfully
One of your
possible future victims.
Hope this finds you in good health and high spirits especially since your recent attacks in Delhi have been so successfully terrorizing. I’m writing this letter to ‘praise’ you about your achievements. You have indeed managed to live up to your name and created terror in our hearts.
Thanks to you thousands of innocent people have lost their lives…hundreds have been maimed for life. Your well planned and sudden attacks have torn families apart and spread misery far and wide. People have lost their near and dear ones so unexpectedly that coming back to normal lives seems virtually impossible for them.
You have bombed churches, temples and mosques and thus brought about religious conflicts in a country that boasts of secularism. You have managed to make religious, political and regional unity seem even more far fetched. You have shattered dreams… killed desires… and numbed feelings.
You have achieved exactly what you wanted - a terrorized world. A world where we live in fear every moment… where we are cautious every second… we glance with mistrust at every passing stranger… look with alarm at suspicious packages… We open the newspapers everyday to be greeted with horrifying news about your crimes. You have become our main topic of discussion.
But there is one thing that you achieved which ,I’m sorry to say, you will not be pleased to hear. In your constant strive to create disunity and hatred you have unknowingly made us better humans. At a time and age when critics say that the new generation have lost all sentiments you have instilled a whole bunch of emotions into our hearts. A sympathy towards your victims who are complete strangers to us… an awareness about how easily you can loose your loved ones which has made us treasure relationships more tenderly… a realisation of how short our life is and how fast you can deprive us of it which has taught us to live each moment to the fullest… and finally a common hatred towards you which unites us inspite of whatever differences you have created. In your endeavour to split us apart you have unfortunately united India.
You will continue to terrorize and horrify us with your acts but it will only unite us further… make us more sensitive… sympathetic… and considerate…. You have shown us that life is not just all party and fun but it also has loses and pains. Thank you for making us more mature.
Yours faithfully
One of your
possible future victims.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
MERE PAAS MA HAI !!!!
My mother's birthday is coming.... What should I buy for her? What do you buy for a person who has given their life for you? My usual gifts ... a salwar... a saree...a watch...seems so small a present to give to a person who plays such an important role in my life.
Well.... at least I can give you a different kind of birthday gift this year. So mom I dedicate this blog for you. A blog which reveals to the whole world how much you mean to me. I know that mere words cannot describe your beauty. But I'll try my best....
Anyone who sees my mother says that she's beautiful. She's tall, slim, fair, has green eyes and looks perpetually young ("age cannot wither her"). So she stands out in a crowd. Many of my friends have even taken her for my sister. Yes... She is beautiful. But the reason why "I" find her beautiful is different... even if she was short, fat ,old and dark I would have still loved her because beneath her gorgeous self which you see is an even more beautiful person.... a person who cares... who loves.... and most importantly a person who accepts me as I am....
I am a person with strange mood swings. I'm happy and jolly one minute and just a second later I become all moody and thoughtful. There are times when I just don't feel like talking even amidst a crowd. There are times when I feel so irritated that I shout at everyone in the vicinity. Because of this crazy character most people find it difficult to understand me. Some say I'm proud... some say I'm shy... some feel hurt because I don't look or talk to them one day or because I shout at them. Later I will have to apologize to them for my strange behaviour and only then will my friends accept me again.... But the only person who will still love me whatever I do or show is my mother... the number of times I have been rude to her is innumerable. Still she cares for me... loves me... and is always willing to listen to me (Gosh!! if I had a crazy daughter like myself I would have slapped her long ago) That's what makes my mother wonderful... she understands me... Whether I kiss her or shout at her she knows that I still love her..... Whether I talk nonsense or don't talk at all she will still love me... I don't have to apologise for my behaviour because she has already forgiven me....
After a day at school (and tuition) when I come back home we (mom and me) have a special time together... a time when I relate my entire day’s experience. It is one of the most boring things to listen to because I have an irritating habit of explaining each and every second in minute detail and a 17 year old's life story is not something exciting especially since my mother has already gone through that stage herself. But yet she listens with such patience and attention. She remembers all my friend's names... and all the silly incidents that I tell her. I share my fears... my aspirations... my dreams with her.... because she is someone who will not laugh at my wild ideas...
But there are times when I feel that I take my mom's presence too much for granted. I am so absorbed in my studies... my friends... my life...that I forget this awesome person who gave me life.... I am so busy telling mom about my day at school that I forget to ask her about her work... I am so busy asking her for help that I forget to see if she needs my help.... I am so busy relating my sorrows to her that that I forget to observe if she is feeling sad.....
Yet she loves me...why? How can someone love so unconditionally? People say that all mothers are like that. But no other mother has such a selfish and irritating daughter like me. Would anyone else ever love me as much as my mom???
I know that a simple sorry is not enough apology for the way I act towards you and I cannot promise that I will change the way I am... but all I can say is whatever I do... whatever I say... whatever I show... I will always love you.... you are my life... and without you I don't know how I would have lived so long (well... I wouldn't have been born without you). Sorry for all the times I have hurt you...and thank you for always being there for me....
I often talk about my mother to my friends...so often that many call me "mommy's pet". But I'm not ashamed of it. I love my mother and I want the whole world to know that she is wonderful. Be as great as you are always mom...
Happy Birthday Mom
Love you forever....
PS: All mothers are special... but obviously “I” find “mine” the best...
My mother's birthday is coming.... What should I buy for her? What do you buy for a person who has given their life for you? My usual gifts ... a salwar... a saree...a watch...seems so small a present to give to a person who plays such an important role in my life.
Well.... at least I can give you a different kind of birthday gift this year. So mom I dedicate this blog for you. A blog which reveals to the whole world how much you mean to me. I know that mere words cannot describe your beauty. But I'll try my best....
Anyone who sees my mother says that she's beautiful. She's tall, slim, fair, has green eyes and looks perpetually young ("age cannot wither her"). So she stands out in a crowd. Many of my friends have even taken her for my sister. Yes... She is beautiful. But the reason why "I" find her beautiful is different... even if she was short, fat ,old and dark I would have still loved her because beneath her gorgeous self which you see is an even more beautiful person.... a person who cares... who loves.... and most importantly a person who accepts me as I am....
I am a person with strange mood swings. I'm happy and jolly one minute and just a second later I become all moody and thoughtful. There are times when I just don't feel like talking even amidst a crowd. There are times when I feel so irritated that I shout at everyone in the vicinity. Because of this crazy character most people find it difficult to understand me. Some say I'm proud... some say I'm shy... some feel hurt because I don't look or talk to them one day or because I shout at them. Later I will have to apologize to them for my strange behaviour and only then will my friends accept me again.... But the only person who will still love me whatever I do or show is my mother... the number of times I have been rude to her is innumerable. Still she cares for me... loves me... and is always willing to listen to me (Gosh!! if I had a crazy daughter like myself I would have slapped her long ago) That's what makes my mother wonderful... she understands me... Whether I kiss her or shout at her she knows that I still love her..... Whether I talk nonsense or don't talk at all she will still love me... I don't have to apologise for my behaviour because she has already forgiven me....
After a day at school (and tuition) when I come back home we (mom and me) have a special time together... a time when I relate my entire day’s experience. It is one of the most boring things to listen to because I have an irritating habit of explaining each and every second in minute detail and a 17 year old's life story is not something exciting especially since my mother has already gone through that stage herself. But yet she listens with such patience and attention. She remembers all my friend's names... and all the silly incidents that I tell her. I share my fears... my aspirations... my dreams with her.... because she is someone who will not laugh at my wild ideas...
But there are times when I feel that I take my mom's presence too much for granted. I am so absorbed in my studies... my friends... my life...that I forget this awesome person who gave me life.... I am so busy telling mom about my day at school that I forget to ask her about her work... I am so busy asking her for help that I forget to see if she needs my help.... I am so busy relating my sorrows to her that that I forget to observe if she is feeling sad.....
Yet she loves me...why? How can someone love so unconditionally? People say that all mothers are like that. But no other mother has such a selfish and irritating daughter like me. Would anyone else ever love me as much as my mom???
I know that a simple sorry is not enough apology for the way I act towards you and I cannot promise that I will change the way I am... but all I can say is whatever I do... whatever I say... whatever I show... I will always love you.... you are my life... and without you I don't know how I would have lived so long (well... I wouldn't have been born without you). Sorry for all the times I have hurt you...and thank you for always being there for me....
I often talk about my mother to my friends...so often that many call me "mommy's pet". But I'm not ashamed of it. I love my mother and I want the whole world to know that she is wonderful. Be as great as you are always mom...
Happy Birthday Mom
Love you forever....
PS: All mothers are special... but obviously “I” find “mine” the best...
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