These days I feel as if I’m not doing anything worthwhile. Just going on living. I need something to look forward to…something to live for… so far my life was totally revolving around friendship. I breathed friendship… and that is my cause for unhappiness. Friendship is a beautiful relationship but when you totally submit yourself to it you get hurt badly. In this harsh reality no one sincerely bothers about friendship. It is just a means of not being alone. It is a means to use up your messaging offer. It is a means of showing the world that you are popular. It is a means of sharing something no one else would bother to listen to. Friends are just taken for granted. Me, being an idiot, didn’t realise it till recently. I just adored friendship. It was all I wanted. I rescheduled my entire life for friendship. My goals, dreams and even my family was pushed back for the sake of my friends.
While people around me got distracted by love I remained uninterested. I failed to realise that friendship is the biggest distraction. I expect a lot of things from my friends. I expect them to care for me as much as I do. But this never happens. Friendship is never given that much of importance by anyone. Within the past two months I have been hurt by three of my great buddies. This has made me totally depressed and devastated. Gosh!! If I had fallen in love I would have only had to suffer a single heartbreak. I really need to stop giving so much of priority to friendship.
One of my friends once said that my problem is that I have too many friends. But that’s wrong. I have very few friends. My problem is that I don’t know who my friends are. I care for people who don’t even need me and neglect the ones who really love me. I spend my time, energy and love on people who have no time for me and ignore the ones who are there every time I need them…
I need to discover what is friendship….. I need to discover who my friends are… I need to realise that it is not the ultimate factor in life…I need to move on…. I need to start living for myself and not just for friendship…..